Teen grappling with mental health and an eating disorder in Winning Podcast: NPR
Budae jjigae, or army stew, is a Korean fusion stew that incorporates American-style processed food.
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Budae jjigae, or army stew, is a Korean fusion stew that incorporates American-style processed food.
Lauren Migaki/NPR
A version of this story originally appeared on Student Podcast Challenge newsletters. Learn more about the contest Here.
Grace Go’s award-winning podcast starts with her favorite comfort food, the Buddhas of Jjigawhich she describes as « ham, sausage, spam, a packet of instant noodles all cooked in a spicy broth topped with American cheese and chopped shallots. »
Buddha jjigawhich means army stew in english, became popular in South Korea in the 1950s, during a period of poverty following the Korean War. « Contains traditional Korean staples such as gochujang AND kimchi but with a touch of American foods,” explains Grace.
Grace’s podcast, which explores her complicated relationship with the Buddhas of Jjiga and his own body, is the winner of this year’s best mental health podcast Student Podcast Challenge. His podcast is called Food Discomfort.
“This was the first piece I made where I put myself in the spotlight,” says Grace, a student and senior journalist at Mercer Island High School outside Seattle. That vulnerability, peppered throughout her podcast, grabbed the attention of our judges.
With the sound of his mother the Buddhas of Jjiga sizzling in a metal pot, all recorded on her phone, Grace invites listeners into her Korean American family’s kitchen and her journey with mental health.
Food as a source of comfort – and discomfort
17-year-old Grace Go hosted a winning podcast about mental health and comfort food.
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17-year-old Grace Go hosted a winning podcast about mental health and comfort food.
LA Johnson/NPR
“Many of us who grew up in an immigrant family know that our parents are especially fond of food,” Grace explains on her podcast. « But paradoxically, another aspect of our culture contradicts this idea and prevents many Asian Americans from having a healthy relationship with food. »
On her podcast, Grace plays recordings of her family members commenting on her body, in both English and Korean. « Grace, I think you’ve gained weight, » says one person. Others tell her to stop eating, that she’s getting bigger.
These passive comments seriously impacted Grace’s well-being. « For years, I didn’t eat right, and it got to the point where I completely eliminated foods that I thought were bad for me, like my favorite, the Buddhas of Jjiga« , explains.
“Then finally, in November of 2021, I was diagnosed with an eating disorder.”
On her road to recovery, Grace looks at where she came from
In the podcast, Grace processes her diagnosis like a reporter. She researches mental health in Asian American communities and interviews experts like Joann Kim, the family youth program manager at the Korean Community Service Center near Grace’s home.
Joann helped Grace through her own recovery. In the podcast, Joann explains that there is a common group mentality often found in Korean immigrant communities and that is reflected in the language. So instead of saying « me », there’s the Korean word woori, which means « we ». He says it can create a lot of pressure to fit in.
« And that makes us really connected to what other people think of us and the image we present to others, » says Joann.
Grace learns to love her uncomfortable food
Even with Joann’s help, it took more than two years for Grace to feel comfortable asking her mother to cook her favorite dinner. the Buddhas of Jjiga.
« It wasn’t a wish. It was much deeper than that, » recalls Grace. « I ate the entire dish pretty much all by myself, and for the first time in a long time, it didn’t really feel like I was doing anything bad. I was doing something good for myself. »
Struggling with body image, while trying to understand how your culture, family, and language can shape your understanding of mental health — that’s a lot. Grace says she is sharing her story for anyone else going through a similar experience.
“My hope is that more resources are provided to my community and that mental health becomes less stigmatized, so that one day others who have been through a similar journey to mine can enjoy their food of hardship and find solace within it.” .
Listen to Grace’s podcast Here.
Visual design and development by: Elissa Nadworny, Lauren Migaki and LA Johnson
Edited by: Nicole Cohen
